I got up early on Thursday so we could get a good start on our day. There were multiple trains per day we could take (about 2 hours to get there) and of course we wanted to get our money's worth out of the trip. Danny, I later learned, had a different agenda (you can ask him about it in person). So after waiting 2.5 hours for him to get ready (when I say Danny, I really mean myself), we leave to go to the train station (where our train that night was leaving) to put our packs in lockers and then go via metro (good thing we had that t10 ticket and by now knew how to use the metro) to the other train station where our Montserrat train was leaving. After lots of confusion and little signage we found our train. We arrived at Montserrat at noon.
Cable Car(the funner way to get to Montserrat)
Montserrat
(Um, Danny, its Catholic. Not buddhist)
ViewIt is crowded. We decide to do Rick Steves' self-guided tour from his book which takes us around the main sites of the monastery's main square and basilica. Then we decided to see the main attraction La Moreneta (aka the Black Virgin).
A little history. So in medieval times some shepherds saw lights coming from a cave in the mountain, went to check things out, and found a black statue of the Virgin Mary. (Actually, la Virgen Morena, that's Russian for "the Black Virgin", wasn't black when she was found. The blackness shows the effect of centuries of smog from pious votives lit at her base.) Thus Montserrat has been a pilgrimage site since early Spain where people come to touch the orb La Moreneta holds in her hand.
So Danny and I go (the present tense is employed here to give emphasis to the past events) stand in line to see the statue; after all, it is THE thing to see. We haven't been standing in line very long when an Italian family of about 10 people comes and stands behind us. This is where things get interesting. There's an iconographic grandmother embodying all stereotypical typecasts, who we think is her younger sisters, her daughter and son-in-law, and grandchildren; all lacking both hygiene and personal space. One of the older ladies is obviously extremely anxious to see the statue. She (one of the old Italian ladies, maybe both, they're basically one in the same, but take up twice the space) can't stand still. She even cut in line which works for a bit until her family gives her dirty looks. Finally the line starts moving and we get inside the Bascilla. Mass has just started. The old Italian lady is besides herself. The line has stopped moving. Apparently she can't wait her turn. She starts tapping my butt. Yes. Tappy-tap-tappy. Tap. Tap-tap-tap-tappy-pinch-tap-gentle pat-tap. I can't move anywhere because the line isn't moving and there is no where to go. This is not acceptable to her so she decides to put the whole front of her body up against the back of mine. I think to myself, "This is extremely uncomfortable. My personal space (and my fantastic hinee) has been completely violated." Finally the line moves and so do I. Again....she taps my butt and the cycle continues.
The world's oldest Boy's Choir (referring to the program age, not the boys) begins singing (picture below). Twenty minutes of butt tapping and body rubbing have past.
I think to myself, "I swear if this lady touches me one more time...". And then she does. I become enraged. I have lost control. I turn around fists clenched in front of me for defense (just in case). I scowl (more of a scream, really)"You have to stop touching me!!". She doesn't understand any English and neither does her family. Danny grabs my shoulders and turns me around to face him. Our conversation goes like this...
Danny: "Shh. What are you doing? Calm down!"
Liz: "That lady has been tapping my butt for 20 minutes!"
Danny puts me in front of him and stands between me and the lady.
Liz: "Has she been tapping your butt too? You know I consider that molesting and its not going to get her any blessing from the Black Virgin any quicker."
Danny: "No. She hasn't touched me. Just calm down."
Another 25 minutes later (no butt tapping) and we get to take this great picture.
Liz touching the Black Virgin's orb
A little history. So in medieval times some shepherds saw lights coming from a cave in the mountain, went to check things out, and found a black statue of the Virgin Mary. (Actually, la Virgen Morena, that's Russian for "the Black Virgin", wasn't black when she was found. The blackness shows the effect of centuries of smog from pious votives lit at her base.) Thus Montserrat has been a pilgrimage site since early Spain where people come to touch the orb La Moreneta holds in her hand.
So Danny and I go (the present tense is employed here to give emphasis to the past events) stand in line to see the statue; after all, it is THE thing to see. We haven't been standing in line very long when an Italian family of about 10 people comes and stands behind us. This is where things get interesting. There's an iconographic grandmother embodying all stereotypical typecasts, who we think is her younger sisters, her daughter and son-in-law, and grandchildren; all lacking both hygiene and personal space. One of the older ladies is obviously extremely anxious to see the statue. She (one of the old Italian ladies, maybe both, they're basically one in the same, but take up twice the space) can't stand still. She even cut in line which works for a bit until her family gives her dirty looks. Finally the line starts moving and we get inside the Bascilla. Mass has just started. The old Italian lady is besides herself. The line has stopped moving. Apparently she can't wait her turn. She starts tapping my butt. Yes. Tappy-tap-tappy. Tap. Tap-tap-tap-tappy-pinch-tap-gentle pat-tap. I can't move anywhere because the line isn't moving and there is no where to go. This is not acceptable to her so she decides to put the whole front of her body up against the back of mine. I think to myself, "This is extremely uncomfortable. My personal space (and my fantastic hinee) has been completely violated." Finally the line moves and so do I. Again....she taps my butt and the cycle continues.
The world's oldest Boy's Choir (referring to the program age, not the boys) begins singing (picture below). Twenty minutes of butt tapping and body rubbing have past.
I think to myself, "I swear if this lady touches me one more time...". And then she does. I become enraged. I have lost control. I turn around fists clenched in front of me for defense (just in case). I scowl (more of a scream, really)"You have to stop touching me!!". She doesn't understand any English and neither does her family. Danny grabs my shoulders and turns me around to face him. Our conversation goes like this...
Danny: "Shh. What are you doing? Calm down!"
Liz: "That lady has been tapping my butt for 20 minutes!"
Danny puts me in front of him and stands between me and the lady.
Liz: "Has she been tapping your butt too? You know I consider that molesting and its not going to get her any blessing from the Black Virgin any quicker."
Danny: "No. She hasn't touched me. Just calm down."
Another 25 minutes later (no butt tapping) and we get to take this great picture.
Liz touching the Black Virgin's orbDanny takes me outside to get me an ice cream for my troubles. It was the best ice cream. We go to the video and museum about the monastery. Then we decide to ride the funicular down to the cave were the Black Virgin was found. What it really ended up being was a funicular down to the trail where you could HIKE to the cave. I was not happy about this. Especially since I decided to wear the darn Tevas and they were causing serious blisters (I still have them!).
Funicular
Beginning of hike
(You can see Montserrat in the background)
Danny in front of the chapel which was built around the cave
The "Cave"
(You can see Montserrat in the background)
Danny in front of the chapel which was built around the cave
The "Cave"After the hike Danny wanted to take the other funicular to the top of the mountain and hike. But because I'm a big poo-poo face, I refused. We took the train back to barcelona, picked up a quick dinner at a bakery, saw the magic fountains in from of Montjuic, and picked up our packs just in time for our Hotel Train to Granada.
Magic Fountains and Montjuic
Hotel Train
(11 hour overnight trip!)
Magic Fountains and Montjuic
Hotel Train(11 hour overnight trip!)
We were worried we wouldn't be able to sleep on the train since we didn't get beds but we actually slept fine! Alhambra here we come!
1 comment:
Can I tap your fantastic hinee? haha. You can hardly blame the woman.... :)
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